June 2009
1 post
Dear Drunk
My name is Katie and I’m a healthcare worker. I take care of people when they’re sick or hurt, I hold their hands when they’re scared, take the extra corners out of their arms when they fall and put band-aids on boo-boos. Sometimes, when someone is really sick, I’ll even breathe for them or keep their heart pumping by pushing on their chest. I’m good like...
May 2009
4 posts
Cooking with Cripples by Katie Cooper (age 21)
So, cripple, you’ve decided to cook.
Before we start, you need to determine which hand is functioning. Tricky, but heres a hint: its not your mangled claw.
Step 1: FORAGE! You and your stupid face will require:
White of 1 large egg
4 oz. ground almonds
2 tsp cinnamon
2 oz. caster sugar
icing sugar
Step 2: ITS TIME TO BUILD SOME MUSCLE.
Beat the egg white until its all stiff and...
So whats polite here?
At some point, I’m going to be asking people to sponsor me for something so I can raise money for a charity thats important to me. Recently, my friends have been asking for money for things they’re doing but they’re raising the money so they can do various things for free (skydiving/trekking etc…), not because they care about the charity. I don’t want to support the...
“So, I get winked at just before I fall asleep and then wake up to find the...”
Dear Mankle,
We need to talk. I told you I wanted to walk nicely today. I asked you to coordinate Foot and Leg to make that happen but I’m still waiting. I snuggled you up in your tubigrip before I paid attention to Stomach, who had been waiting patiently all night… Fairs fair, mankle, I do a lot for you. I buy you nice shoes, take you for walks, feed you ketoprofen when you cry and...