So, cripple, you’ve decided to cook.

Before we start, you need to determine which hand is functioning. Tricky, but heres a hint: its not your mangled claw.

Step 1: FORAGE! You and your stupid face will require:

White of 1 large egg

4 oz. ground almonds

2 tsp cinnamon

2 oz. caster sugar

icing sugar

Step 2: ITS TIME TO BUILD SOME MUSCLE.

Beat the egg white until its all stiff and weird (you know, until you can make big pointy bits in it n’ stuff)

Step 3: DUMP TRUCKS!

Throw everything else in to the mix (apart from the icing sugar cos thats for laters. Oooh, mystical) and mix it so its all lovely and even. You know what I mean.

Step 4: PLAY WITH YO’ BALLS

4.1 Lube your baking tray with some grease to stop yo’ balls sticking. Butter or oil is fine, hair grease/car oil is not.

4.2 Wet your grubby little paw (I’d love to say paws but you know… ) and roll the mix in to balls the size of the sweets in YO!

Step 5: ADD FIRE!

…or just a 350F oven for 15-18 minutes. The choice is yours.

Step 6: SNOW + BALLS 

Let yo’ balls cool then roll them in the icing sugar so they look like snowballs.

Step 7: I believe it goes…

…omnomnomnomnom

Love and kisses

Katiekins